Bubba's Bar 'n' Grill

Full Version: Cooking (and cleaning) as an act of love
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(08-14-2011 08:25 PM)VincentUlyssis Wrote: [ -> ]I hate it when I unload and then reload the dishwasher and my wife gets upset because I put a dish in the wrong spot. Grrrrr.

I just move things around...if I left them the way he loaded it, I wouldn't fit everything into the dishwasher by the end of dinner. I make the kids unload it in the morning. One gets the bottom rack, one the utensils, and one the top rack.
We have a system. I get yelled at, but I'm not allowed to yell back. It's been working for years. Confused
We live on the mantra "I rule the roost, but she rules the rooster".

Makes me even wonder if I ever had any control of my house to begin with.
(08-14-2011 08:25 PM)VincentUlyssis Wrote: [ -> ]I hate it when I unload and then reload the dishwasher and my wife gets upset because I put a dish in the wrong spot. Grrrrr.

Oh hail, no! If Mr. Matters loads it, I leave it be. If something doesn't come clean because he didn't load it right, THEN I says something. Wink
(08-15-2011 12:03 PM)Detroit Dan Wrote: [ -> ]We have a system. I get yelled at, but I'm not allowed to yell back. It's been working for years. Confused

Hey, we have that system too. How funny.
(08-18-2011 07:51 AM)VincentUlyssis Wrote: [ -> ]
(08-15-2011 12:03 PM)Detroit Dan Wrote: [ -> ]We have a system. I get yelled at, but I'm not allowed to yell back. It's been working for years. Confused

Hey, we have that system too. How funny.

It must be a law. I have the same system. A friend got married last year and asked for advice. I told him after 19 years of marriage I have learned one thing - just agree to everything. So far it has worked.
You have to be careful. If it comes off as patronizing it could spell certain disaster. You have to be sincerely wrong. Smile
I encourage all guys to be animals when it comes to loading and emptying the dishwasher. It's really fun to clean the sink as well!
So fellas, how's it going with all of this?

Some days I'm on a cleaning/organizing/work rampage.

Other days I have less energy and motivation.

Overall I need to step back and keep a clear and realistic assessment of how I'm really doing.

I find that if I consider some things "my job" they become habitual.

Food shopping (including making the list)
Helping prepare the meal
Cleaning up after the meal (follow through to completion is the best)
Vacuuming
Cleaning bathrooms
Straightening up

Simple rules I've learned the hard way:

Don't boast about any of it-ever.
Look good while you're doing it. (not slobby)
Do it before she asks.

You may not always get recognized or thanked, but the self-satisfaction is priceless. Love out-gives.
Wow! Well, I definitely recognize that and thank you. Ren Man's very good about helping out, too. Maybe we should rent the 2 of you out.... Wink
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