Jokes and Funny Sayings - Printable Version
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Jokes and Funny Sayings - VincentUlyssis - 10-16-2010 08:34 PM
If I say something and my wife's not there am I still a complete and total idiot?
I know. That's not funny at all. It's pretty sad actually. I'm like a one eyed deer practicing abstinence. No F@$%kin' eye deer.
RE: Jokes and Funny Sayings - old honda rider - 10-16-2010 08:55 PM
(10-16-2010 08:34 PM)VincentUlyssis Wrote: If I say something and my wife's not there am I still a complete and total idiot?Yea, something similar to, "If a man is talking in the forest and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?"
Gotta admit, that's pretty funny.
Why do we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway? Like, WTF is that all about?
And who is Bob? As in, "Bob's your uncle"?
RE: Jokes and Funny Sayings - Laffitupfzbl - 10-17-2010 09:57 PM
If drinking and driving is illegal, then why are bars allowed to build parking lots?
RE: Jokes and Funny Sayings - VincentUlyssis - 10-18-2010 06:53 PM
(10-17-2010 09:57 PM)Laffitupfzbl Wrote: If drinking and driving is illegal, then why are bars allowed to build parking lots?::Chuckle::
RE: Jokes and Funny Sayings - Boomer - 10-18-2010 08:08 PM
I have gone to look for myself. If I should return before I get back - KEEP ME HERE!
RE: Jokes and Funny Sayings - NWoBHM - 10-19-2010 11:46 AM
Why are minutes taken in meetings and hours lost??
In God we trust - everyone else pays cash!
RE: Jokes and Funny Sayings - VincentUlyssis - 10-19-2010 06:43 PM
Here's a food related item. It's not funny at all. My freakin' GE fridge broke down. It was the stinkin' "circuit brain" that cost $430 and a whole lot of grief (bad food, bad service, $200 just to put some food back. I look at this 12" x 12" circuit board and think "I can make some modern crap art with it. I'll call it "Fuc%#$#ing Refrigerator" with some red and brown paint to represent the blood and sh%$t that I had to shed to pay for the "Fuc#@$ing Refrigerator. Thanks for letting me vent.
RE: Jokes and Funny Sayings - Boomer - 10-19-2010 07:05 PM
Maybe you should use it for target practice! Might help ease that tension a bit, maybe work off some stress. Try using a big old sledge hammer on it. By the third swing you wont even remember why youre destorying a perfectly screwed up appliance!
RE: Jokes and Funny Sayings - VincentUlyssis - 10-24-2010 06:25 AM
Sweet bliss! Destroying something. I like it.
RE: Jokes and Funny Sayings - Boomer - 10-24-2010 05:35 PM
There IS a story behind that. About 11 years ago when I was still in Oregon, there was a case involving a 12 year old child who had gone missing. Turns out the father of this child raped and murdered this 12 year old. For no reason whatsoever. Had the community literally torn up over the whole deal. A local radio station knew this was really getting to some of us who WERE parents who had kids of our own, and simply didn't have any understanding of why this lunatic would murder his child like that, so they got a bunch of used up appliances from a local recycler, brought out a bunch of sledge hammers, and invited the public to stop by and take out our frustrations. When I got there, I brought my own 16 pound hammer, and I was really upset over the whole thing. I ended up smashing a big copier/printer machine in half, and then ended the life of an inoperable dryer as well.
Trust me - you sling a sledge hammer around for a day you WILL take your frustrations out. It may not solve anything, but you will feel better.