The Bar

[HardwareGrl]

(Searching in pockets for change for the jukebox, flipping cards...)
S12

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SSWrNfqjDBE

Hmmmm....nothing fancy I think.....white wine sounds good.
Just a peak in tonight, doesn't seem like there's been time lately to stop by.
So much going on, decisions made, good, bad and otherwise.
I think a lot of you all saw that Hubby and I have ended our quest to adopt. It was a not-to-hard decision to make in the end, which is sad.
I know it doesn't seem like we have been trying for that long to be giving up this soon, but glancing at the calendar reminds me that it has been 6 YEARS since we started moving in this direction. Litterally moving in this direction, because we sold our house to move back to the house I grew up in, remodeled it to change it into a duplex so my mother could have her own space and she could take care of kids of us after school/before Hubby and I got home from work.
And after the house was finished then started the process of classes, classes, and more classes that don't even begin to truely train you to cope with a troubled child, seminars, support groups, meetings, background checks, financial records checks, and on, and on, and on.
Finally certification, and the looking begins.
Hubby and I were asked to go to committee 10 TIMES. We got our hope up 10 TIMES. You guys only heard about the committee meetings we stayed in.
The other 8 times we read such horror stories, the things people can do to children, the short time it takes to completely f*ck up a child's life.
Nobody should have to read s*it like that.
NO CHILD SHOULD HAVE TO LIVE THROUGH S*IT LIKE THAT.
Doing respite care for these kids, these sad, messed up kids, trying to help in some small way, knowing its just a drop in the bucket.
Then finally dealing with a 3 year old girl that was able to throw a 2 HOUR tantrum, SCREAMING at the top of her voice "I WANT TO MAKE YOU MAD!!! I WANT TO MAKE YOU MAD!!!"
She had my Mother throwing up her hands, two of my dogs shivering messes, my cats hadn't been seen in days because they were hiding.
I made the arrangements to move her and her brother, and we then promptly started getting rid of all of our kid stuff.
If Boomer had been closer he'd have been in for quite a windfall, I had all sorts of stuff to let go of.

So....now what?
We lost Honey in April, which was like loosing a child for me, I loved my Honey-dog very much. And now this, changing complete directions. You work toward a purpose for so long, and then the purpose has been removed.
What do I do now?
I don't know....

(shrugging sholders, finishing wine, walks back over to jukebox)

R6

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1g5ZaUGeF...ure=relmfu