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Kitchen Disasters!!
09-18-2013, 08:31 AM
Post: #1
Kitchen Disasters!!
I saw Nettie's post about the Egg Disaster, and thought it might be fun to hear other stories of things going badly in the kitchen!

Anyone ever mistake Cayenne Pepper for Paprika?? Yeah...stuff like that!!

"I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food."
W. C. Fields
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09-18-2013, 09:23 AM
Post: #2
RE: Kitchen Disasters!!
Excellent, excellent topic...

I mean really, it can't always be perfectly crispy duck confit and lumpless chocolate ganache right? I'll certainly have some real doozies to contribute to this thread over the years.

The following is a great example of plating FAIL. No balance, no contrast, no finesse, just a big hot mess dumped on a plate. Rib-eye with cheese on sauteed potato, topped with ChaseDavid's outstanding shallot/garlic relish. Tasty, yes. Visually appealing...blech!

[Image: food136_zpse50c8dd4.jpg]

To ask why we cook is to ask why the leaves fall...
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09-18-2013, 11:55 AM
Post: #3
RE: Kitchen Disasters!!
As picky as some folks are, however, if it is pleasing to one's palatte, DIG IN! Sure - everyone loves a visually stimulating plate, but since I dont get ribeye that much, PASS dat der plate over here!!!

Be curious to see what other plating disasters get posted here.

Primary Principle - "It must NEVER be my fault"
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09-18-2013, 12:16 PM
Post: #4
RE: Kitchen Disasters!!
(09-18-2013 11:55 AM)Boomer Wrote:  As picky as some folks are, however, if it is pleasing to one's palatte, DIG IN! Sure - everyone loves a visually stimulating plate, but since I dont get ribeye that much, PASS dat der plate over here!!!

Be curious to see what other plating disasters get posted here.

So let it be written, so let it be done...

[Image: food137_zps9153b598.jpg]

Asian inspired ginger chicken thigh/veg skewers on a bed of sesame/rice vinegar napa slaw. Horrible symmetry, and the grilled half artichoke...well, I have no idea what the heck I was thinking on that one.Confused

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09-18-2013, 03:09 PM (This post was last modified: 09-18-2013 03:56 PM by Sunset.)
Post: #5
RE: Kitchen Disasters!!
[Image: food138_zps44bb05a8.jpg]

Here's a nice lil triple FAIL...

A friend once prepared a delicious watermelon salad that combined the melon, balsamic, feta, chive, candied walnut, and baby spinach. It was the first time I'd ever tasted the melon balsamic combo and I felt that although it was pretty unorthodox, it nevertheless paired well. Sooooo...I figured the melon/balsamic would be a nice amuse/palate cleanser served between two richer courses during one of my meals.

1. The feta and nuts in my bud's salad served to bind the flavors. My amuse came off austere and one-dimensional

2. I was clumsy while cutting the melon and produced an abhorrent square, thus completely ruining the aesthetic.

3. The blasamic didn't soak into the melon at all, so it simply ran out all over the plate when cut into.

fail...fail...FAIL! lolRolleyes
Wanna know how to completely ruin some of the freshest, juiciest, sweetest, most succulent chunk crab you've ever seen?

1.Just get lazy and decide to try a super-quickie blender hollandaise instead of the tried and true old fashioned method. Now, it's entirely possible that it may have been a case of operator malfunction...but I followed the recipe to the letter, and even tried to save it after I saw what a disaster it was. No joy...runny, relatively foul tasting soup is what I got as a reward for my shiftless behavior.

2.Decide to use flourless, good for you english muffins instead of the yummy, bad for you normal kind.

3. Be completely clueless as to how to poach an egg. Fortunately, the guy who hits stuff has since pointed me in the right direction on that score.


So again, triple FAIL. With my family, and that poor innocent crab paying the price. Crime against both humanity and crustacean I tellya...

[Image: food139_zps12987b87.jpg]

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09-18-2013, 07:52 PM
Post: #6
RE: Kitchen Disasters!!
NOOOOO Not the CRAB! ACK! One of my all time favorite dishes, although never had it would the hollandaise. It looks good but you cant redo crab! I think if you had simply left the artichoke off the grilled chicken skewers, that might be a bit more appealing, but I've never been a fan of artichokes to begin with. Just dont take my advice though - Im NOT a professional!

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09-19-2013, 03:59 PM
Post: #7
RE: Kitchen Disasters!!
Unfortunately, yes the crab. Fortunately, I was at least intelligent enough to pluck that lovely meat off the disaster zone, squirt a little lemon juice on it, and enjoy it proper.

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09-20-2013, 08:53 AM
Post: #8
RE: Kitchen Disasters!!
Those are some doozies Sunset!

I'll never forget my dearly departed mother's first-time hosting Thanksgiving Dinner for the family at our house when I was a little kid. The turkey was completely overcooked, and when she went to take it out of the roasting pan, it completely fell-apart and somehow landed on the floor - in a million splattered pieces that the dog promptly began to devour voraciously! I think we ended up ordering pizza that year!!

"I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food."
W. C. Fields
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09-20-2013, 08:58 AM
Post: #9
RE: Kitchen Disasters!!
(09-20-2013 08:53 AM)debskis Wrote:  Those are some doozies Sunset!

I'll never forget my dearly departed mother's first-time hosting Thanksgiving Dinner for the family at our house when I was a little kid. The turkey was completely overcooked, and when she went to take it out of the roasting pan, it completely fell-apart and somehow landed on the floor - in a million splattered pieces that the dog promptly began to devour voraciously! I think we ended up ordering pizza that year!!

Oh my! Every dog has it's day...

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09-29-2013, 02:24 PM
Post: #10
RE: Kitchen Disasters!!
Speaking of dogs in the kitchen:
I had been baking my own bread this summer. My little adorable puppy had recently begun to be able to reach the top of the kitchen table, and would try to get a peek at whatever was up there when she went past on the way back from going outside.
In mid August I had my 2 loaves of bread, fresh from the oven, sitting on the table cooling, when I had to take her outside to "take care of business". On her way back into the kitchen, she jumped up and gave the end of one loaf a long lick.

Oh ew!
I cut off a LARGE chunk(like half) of the bread, and tossed it out in the garbage, and the next time I baked, put the loaves WAY BACK on the table.

I have a carb loving puppy.
I hear there's a carb loving cat in the area.
Maybe they should meet.

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