The Pet Peeve

[SpaceCadet]

Ach - grammar! Where do we start? How 'bout with the worst...

The proper application of the apostrophe with the word "it's." Neh?

I really wish I could shout this from a mountaintop on the highest-wattage quadraphonic Vogon amplification system ever invented, because it's (there's one!) just not getting through to people. So listen up folks - you will be encountering this material again:

The apostrophe is only used in the word "it's" when you are creating a contraction of the phrase "it is." Nothing else. In no other circumstance do you put an apostrophe into "it's." Period. Full stop. Everyone out of the pool.

God that was satisfying.

There is a related form of this particular gaffe that fortunately doesn't come up often because it requires an advanced degree of stupidity to achieve, but I'm seeing it creep into view more brazenly since the advent of the Internet and texting:

Just because a word ends with an "s" does not automatically mean you must insert an apostrophe. Unlike the word "it's," in this case the apostrophe is only there to indicate the possessive. Nothing else. Period. Full stop. Everyone out of the pool.

What is it with the apostrophe, anyway? It's like an instant insanity generator or some kind of alphanumeric hallucinogen. Veddy, veddy odd, Keptin.
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