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Murder on the Capsaicin Express
04-20-2010, 07:27 PM
Post: #4
RE: Murder on the Capsaicin Express
I'll share with you a taste of virgin bravado that occurred years ago...

A friend and I were at the House of Blues on Sunset in LA and had dinner. I had Jambalaya. It came garnished with a big, and I mean bIG, nasty scotch bonnet.
The waiter warned me that it was merely a garnish and that I should not even consider eating it. Of course, my bravado wasn't going to sit there and take that warning, and being the entrepeneurial fellow I am, I bet my friend $20 that I could eat the whole thing.

My pal thought that would be cheap entertainment, so he agreed.

I grabbed that relatively harmless looking mini pumpkin by its stem and chomped heartily into half of it. As the article attested to, what was left of my sensible grey matter started to rush out of my ears in a mass exodus, followed by plumes of steam. No sooner were the bonnet's seeds bouncing off the back of my tongue and over my epiglottis, that I realized I was in serious trouble. Sweat poured off my brow and although I tried to smile and show my man-liness, pandemonium was brewing inside. I grabbed my glass of water and downed it while waving to the waiter with my free hand. Glass after glass of water proceeded to follow down my throat until my eyes were floating like bobbers on a fishline. There would be no relief from the insatiable burning and swelling of my tongue. After 64 oz of water, my friend suggested milk. I had already had to undo the button fly of my jeans so that I could provide expansion for all the fluids that there certainly was no place for milk to join the party. However he insisted and the waiter agreed and I forced another 8 oz glass down the tube.

Finally the tongue and throat relented as they were coated with the thick creamy nectar. I relaxed for a moment and began to coax my sensibilites back into my ear canal, but all that went out the window when I saw that I still had the other half to go. $20 is $20 after all. In went the other half and it rushed down my throat amongst a tsunami of 2% partly homogenized. I snapped the $20 off the table and then proceeded to the washroom for recycling.

I was so bloated on the way back to the hotel, my pal had to drive as I lay in the passenger seat fully reclined to horizontal position, with my pants around my ankles.

Ahh, the things we cro magnons will do....
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Messages In This Thread
Murder on the Capsaicin Express - Brutus - 04-19-2010, 08:00 PM
RE: Murder on the Capsaicin Express - spudpotatohead - 04-20-2010, 05:18 PM
RE: Murder on the Capsaicin Express - spudpotatohead - 04-20-2010 07:27 PM
RE: Murder on the Capsaicin Express - Ani - 10-16-2011, 10:17 PM
RE: Murder on the Capsaicin Express - ENTREWHO - 04-21-2010, 06:52 AM
RE: Murder on the Capsaicin Express - zenjen - 04-29-2010, 12:04 AM
RE: Murder on the Capsaicin Express - zenjen - 05-01-2010, 09:02 PM
RE: Murder on the Capsaicin Express - Rey - 03-24-2011, 10:50 AM
RE: Murder on the Capsaicin Express - Rey - 03-25-2011, 07:42 AM
RE: Murder on the Capsaicin Express - Rey - 04-01-2011, 08:35 AM
RE: Murder on the Capsaicin Express - Jenn - 03-08-2012, 07:41 AM
RE: Murder on the Capsaicin Express - Jenn - 03-08-2012, 10:06 AM

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