Jokes and Funny Sayings

[ePhilosopher9]

some funny things people say, hehe, 'round here

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhOqtCuP1yQ

[Laffitupfzbl]

Ok, well that was certainly an interesting evening. Bobcat is frigging hilarious, probably the best I've ever seen him. Afterward, I stayed out too late, and had too many adult beverages while some friends hosted an open mic at a local bar. I feel REALLY sorry for The Rolling Stones, the Violent Femmes and The Clash after that. Yeah, open mic and all, but at least learn the words if you're gonna butcher the playing. Then some 19 year old college chick got up there...holy cats! I was thrilled that there were enough people in the audience who appreciated real music to send her packing after one really terrible version of Fool in the Rain. Had Robert Plant heard that, he would have died on the spot, just so he could roll over in his grave. Good looks+alcohol does not equal the right to abuse a microphone willy nilly all night.

My best joke of the night at the comedy club (or so I was told): A friend and I were discussing, you know, monthly bloating. And I told her "I'm not sure if I do bloat up during that time of the month. When you're fat, you can't close your pants all the time. It's not a monthly ordeal. Let's see, is it my period, or that sleeve of Oreos I ate last night?"

Thanks, you've been a great crowd, tip your wait staff, have the veal...

[NWoBHM]

Apparently the joke of the year at the Edindurgh Fringe last year was.........

Hedgehogs..........cant they learn to share??

[old honda rider]

(10-29-2010 02:09 PM)NWoBHM Wrote:  Apparently the joke of the year at the Edindurgh Fringe last year was.........

Hedgehogs..........cant they learn to share??

Ha! Love it!

Something else apparently came from that festival. I don't know the woman's name but she's an English comic. (Becky somebody?)

Anyway, her line was:

I invited some of my vegan friends to show up this evening but they're not here, they didn't have the energy to climb the stairs.

Oh, i friggin ROARED when I first heard that!

[Laffitupfzbl]

I have a friend who is, well, likes her adult beverages. I heard that she was 'going vegetarian' and the first thing I thought to myself was "Well, I bet you're glad alcohol isn't made of meat."

[NWoBHM]

Monty Python........

"Argh.......Mr Luxury Yacht"

"It is spelled Luxury Yacht, but actually pronounced, Throat Wobble Mangrove"

What were those boys smoking to come up with that.........

[VincentUlyssis]

(10-28-2010 05:49 PM)RN-PRN Wrote:  I love Monty Python! My favorite is "The Holy Grail". Now where did my rabbit go?

"Bring me a shrubbery!" (said in a voice like Julia Child)

[RN-PRN]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhRUe-gz690

"Just a flesh wound"

[Neilbubbachuck]

What the heck! I've never seen anything like that before.

Hi-yahh Doink!

Come back here I'll bite yer leg off ya yella belly! Omgosh I am in tears

[RN-PRN]

Monty Python's Holy Grail. It is hilarious!