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Jokes and Funny Sayings
08-26-2012, 08:22 AM
Post: #261
RE: Jokes and Funny Sayings
Hi KBB noted - I don`t suppose Tommy (RIP) knew either.

BTW I saw a lovely girl at a wedding the other day.

I said, "Do you sleep on your stomach?"

She said, "No why?"

I said, "Do you mind if I do?"

Hahahaha

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08-26-2012, 08:24 AM
Post: #262
RE: Jokes and Funny Sayings
I said to her later, "Do you fancy an Australian kiss?"

She said, "What`s that?"

I said, "Just like a French kiss, only down under"

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08-26-2012, 04:45 PM
Post: #263
RE: Jokes and Funny Sayings
Groan.
But those are some good ones there NWo, and I needed a giggle today!

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08-27-2012, 02:25 AM
Post: #264
RE: Jokes and Funny Sayings
(08-26-2012 04:45 PM)nettiesaur Wrote:  Groan.
But those are some good ones there NWo, and I needed a giggle today!

Yes - the very great Tommy Cooper (RIP).

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09-16-2012, 09:08 PM
Post: #265
Joke
On his 74th birthday, a man received a gift certificate from his wife.

The certificate was for a visit to an Apache medicine man living on a
nearby reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure
for erectile dysfunction.

After being persuaded, he drove to the reservation, handed his ticket
to the medicine man, and wondered what he was in for.

The old man handed a potion to him and, with a grip on his shoulder,
warned -

'This is a powerful medicine. You take only a teaspoonful and then say
'1-2-3.'


When you do, you will become more manly than you have ever been in
your life and you can perform as long as you want."


The man was encouraged. As he walked away, he turned and asked, "How do I stop the medicine from working?"

"Your partner must say '1-2-3-4'" he responded, "but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon."

He was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom.

When she came in, he took off his clothes and said, "1-2-3!" Immediately, he was the manliest of men.

His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes and then she asked, "What was the 1-2-3 for?"

And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle.
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10-27-2012, 08:27 PM
Post: #266
RE: Jokes and Funny Sayings
What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?

Bamboo!

Where do vampires get their cookies?

From ghoul scouts!

Why can't ghosts have babies?

They have Hallo-weenies.

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10-28-2012, 12:05 AM
Post: #267
RE: Jokes and Funny Sayings
>groan again<

Love and respect...
Turn up the music and smile!
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10-30-2012, 08:05 AM
Post: #268
RE: Jokes and Funny Sayings
[Image: rimshot.gif]

Big Grin

... in a world where I feel so small I can't stop thinking big!
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